I Am Who I Want to Be: A Pleasure Activist’s Zine
Peryton Reese, Salem College
Intro
In my zine, “I Am Who I Want to Be: A Pleasure Activist’s Zine,” I explore existence as activism. Zines have been a mode of communication and community building for decades; the LGBT+ Cultural Heritage project notes that zines (and their pamphlet predecessors) have been used to share anti-capitalist and anti-establishment messages since the 1700s, and queer zines gained traction in the 1980s because of censorship during the AIDS epidemic. Zines give voice to what cannot be said in front of a crowd–they whisper in people’s ears until everyone knows. Solidifying brown’s pleasure activism as part of McRuer’s crip theory means not just accepting oneself as queer and/or disabled, but finding joy in it. When identity is made political, existing without shame is radical. The zine begins with a connection to Schalk’s work bringing pleasure and crip theory together. I quote an interview with her where she speaks about being included in brown’s Pleasure Activism anthology, “Ask more questions, take a little more time.” Communication, with oneself and with others, is key to bringing awareness and understanding to queer disability rights. In this zine, I also mention how language itself is part of this understanding; the labels people use are part of their journey, and they still matter even if they’ve been outgrown. Pleasure looks and sounds different to everyone, so finding and maintaining personalized care is imperative. Understanding someone is the first step to helping them actualize their joy, and doing so for yourself is the best way to start.
Zine Link
Handwritten_2024-12-10_153045.pdf
Image Descriptions
Page 2: Cripping Pleasure
A stamp of a heart on the right side of the first paragraph. Stamps of lips and a clock underneath the Schalk quote.
Page 3: Student, Theorist, Activist
Stamps of a clock, a heart, and an eye lined vertically on the right side of the second paragraph. A stamp of a heart on the left side of the last paragraph.
Page 4: Queer AND Strange
On the right side, in the middle of the page, is a stamp of a cat’s ears peeking out of a box. Underneath it is a stamp of a heart. In the bottom left corner is another stamp of the cat in a box.
Page 5: I’m Still Autistic
In the middle of the page are five stamps of an eye.
Page 6: Lover, Friend, Relative
At the bottom of the page are three stamps. From left to right, there is a heart, an eye, and another heart.
Page 7: Constellating
At the top of the page is a diagram connecting stamps of stars in a zigzag pattern. From top to bottom, the stars are captioned: research, experience, self-acceptance, care, community.
Page 8: End Page
A QR code leading to sources and a guide on making zines.
Afterword
This zine brings together a multitude of ideas on pleasure, care, and justice, but there is more to it than theory. On the last page, I constellate my own journey with pleasure and encourage readers to do the same; this is not just a thought exercise but a way to consider real change that can be made in the lives of readers and those around them. Encouraging joy and acceptance is necessary, especially when parts of your identity are being targeted. One’s positionality–how you view yourself–has an impact on how you treat both yourself and others. Working from the premise of pleasure activism, if you give yourself grace and promote joy in your own life, you can more easily extend it to those around you. Being aware of your own privilege can help you find how to assist people in gaining access to care. This can look like offering kind words or a warm meal, but it can also be writing to senators about potential legislation. Social change through joy is more effective than through shame—wanting to make a difference is more powerful than being weighed down by the responsibility of it. Empowerment is about lifting people up alongside you, and there is no better way to do that than through pleasure.
Additional Reference
LGBT+ Cultural Heritage. (n.d.). Zines. LGBT+ Cultural Heritage, www.lgbtculturalheritage.com/zines.